I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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