Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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