Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Randomize
