Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
