I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
