Reggie can tackle my bush.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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