I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
