Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
