i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Randomize
