I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
