So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
