then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
