hotel room ftw
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
