wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Randomize
