dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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