I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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