Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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