What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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