Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
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