If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
