I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
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