did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
