I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
