This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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