I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Randomize
