at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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