I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
How many fucks given?
0.12846
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
