He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
