So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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