worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
