he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
