i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
