dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
