For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
