$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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