Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
