The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
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