I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
