i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
