How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Randomize
