I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
He felt like a one man threesome
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
where are my eyebrows?
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