In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Randomize
