saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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