Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize
