we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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