dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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