..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
It's just like the Real World with babies
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Randomize
