My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Randomize
