Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
