My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
