i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
