There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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